“Your attitude
should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:5).
Question: how is
your attitude? It can be extremely easy to have a very negative attitude
throughout this whole coronavirus pandemic. Even apart from this pandemic, it
is common to encounter people with bad attitudes. And I will admit regrettably
that at times, I have been that person. Therefore, if nothing more, I write
these articles on attitude to help transform my own personal attitude, for as
Pastor Craig Groeschel said, “A negative mindset never leads to a positive
life!”
John Maxwell
shares eight factors that contribute to one’s attitude. First, is personality.
One of the joys of being a minister is to take couples through premarriage
counseling. I always insist on having the couple take a personality test. While
the couples have fun doing this, they tend to learn a ton about how their future
spouse thinks and acts. Often couples are attracted to people with a very
different personality, yet in marriage those differences can be points of
contention. Regardless, one’s personality can have a significant role in
shaping one’s attitude. For example, some people by nature are the life of the
party so to speak, others tend to be very similar to Eeyore from the Disney
cartoon Winnie the Pooh. This is not to say that one particular personality is
better than others; it is just a key ingredient that does affect one’s
attitude.
A second
ingredient of one’s attitude is their environment. John Maxwell explains
this in the following way. “The environment you were exposed to growing up
definitely has an impact on your attitude. Did your parents go through a
divorce? That may cause you to have a mistrustful attitude toward members of
the opposite sex. Did someone close to you die? That may prompt you to have an
attitude of emotional distancing from others. Did you grow up in a poor
neighborhood? That may prompt you to have a tenacious attitude toward
achievement. In contrast, it could make you want to give up more easily” (The
Difference Maker, p. 6).
I have always
found it fascinating how two people can grow up in the same home, possibly even
being identical twins, experience the same things, yet respond to them
radically different. Even so, both would tell you that it was their environment
that shaped them into the person that they became.
A third
ingredient of one’s attitude is the words of others. I often say, the
old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”
is a lie! The things other people say to us and of us can have a huge impact on
our lives. Often, the wounds of verbal abuse will last a lifetime in comparison
to other types of abuse that may last only a moment (this is not to undermine
the effects of other types of abuse, rather to realize the impact of one’s
words). It’s like a recording in our mind that continues to replay over and
over again the negative things others have said to us. This is especially true
of the words of someone we look up to including a parent, sibling, spouse,
grandparent, or adult child. Then as a result, people who have deep hurts tend
to hurt others. On the other hand, how
much good can a positive comment accomplish?
A fourth
ingredient of one’s attitude is how you see yourself. This can be
related to the others already mentioned. One writer said, “Examine the labels
you apply to yourself. Every label is a boundary or limit you will not let
yourself cross” (Dwayne Dyer). Thus, if you continue to beat yourself up over
one thing or another, it will likely be displayed in your attitude.
A fifth
ingredient of one’s attitude is your exposure to growth opportunities.
Growth opportunities can include a variety of things. This would most
definitely include the schools and colleges that one attends. It would also
include people who served as mentors. And it would include any book, article,
or educational film. It has been said that you are the person that you will be
five years from now with the addition of the books that you read and the people
that you associate with.
The people that
we associate with can be considered as a growth opportunity, and they can also
be considered by themselves. The simple fact of the matter is that the people
that one associates with does have an impact on one’s attitude. This is why the
Bible has a lot to say about those that we hang out with.
Proverbs 22:24-25
in the New Century Version says, “Don’t make friends with quick-tempered
people or spend time with those who have bad tempers. If you do, you will be
like them. Then you will be in real danger.” It can be amazing how easy it
is to pick up a bad attitude from someone else, and then, in turn, respond to
others just like that person with the bad attitude did. So be careful with who
you associate with.
A seventh
ingredient of one’s attitude is their beliefs. Proverbs 23:7 in the
Amplified Bible says it like this. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...”
Maxwell said, “Every thought you have shapes your life. What you think about
your neighbor is your attitude toward him. The way you think about your job is
your attitude toward work. Your thoughts concerning your spouse, the people on
the highway during rush hour, and the government create your attitude toward
each of those subjects” (The Difference Maker, pg. 11).
An eighth
ingredient that shapes one’s attitude the choices that you make. Victor
Frankl was a man that literally went through absolute terror living as a
prisoner in the Nazi death camps. While he was in there he suffered daily from
hunger. The Nazis virtually starved people to death.
Beyond this the
climate in Germany can get downright frigid at certain times of the year, and
yet, the Nazis once again didn’t care if the prisoners froze to death. And
Frankl suffered from the brutality of the Nazis. It was a regular occurrence to
be beaten for no particular reason at all. And there were many whom Frankl
witnessed that had died this way. To make matters worse, Frankl’s father,
mother, brother, and even Frankl’s wife died in this concentration camp from
either the harsh treatment or because of the Nazis’ gas chambers.
In spite of all
of these things, Frankl said in his book Man’s Search For Meaning: “Everything
can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose
one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various
mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain
ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the
prisoner became was the result of an inner decision: and not the result of camp
influences alone.”
Therefore, while
there are a number of factors that contribute to one’s attitude, the bottom
line is this, attitude is a choice. We can choose to have a good attitude or a
bad attitude. Yes, this is not always easy.
No doubt it had
to be challenging for Jesus to have a good attitude in spite of knowing that He
was going to lead to servanthood, rejection, and crucifixion. Yet it eventually
led to His exaltation (Phil. 2:9-11). And the same is true of us. James 4:10
says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” Thus, may
we choose to have the same attitude that Jesus did, and just watch as it makes
all the difference in the world, as God lifts you up in His timing!
More of Him, less
of me,
Matt
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